Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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