Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
