U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
