WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize