at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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