You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
did you just send me my own nude
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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