dude i'm inner monologue high
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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