So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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