Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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