Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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