How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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