i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
