I'm really into asian looking animals
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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