But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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