I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
