I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
