i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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