Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
