sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
