Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize