so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
