And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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