that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
3pm strippers are depressing
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
