Dude my mom stole all your condoms
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
