I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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