Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
last night I used snow as a chaser
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