dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
