I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize