I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
