There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
