I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize