I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
