That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
