You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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