oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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