And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
