i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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