so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
