Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize
