you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
