recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I did not marry a roomba.
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