I seem to have left my pride at pride
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
