The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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