you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
