I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
