Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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