I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
you had me at cake vodka
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
