Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
