You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
