he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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