they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize