Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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