he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
