based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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