The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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