woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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