discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
