Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
