This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
