The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
