I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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