oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
