maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
