I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
