I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize