ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I need to align my fucking chakras
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
