hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
