you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
literally had 100 drinks last night.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
