dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
