I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
