apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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