Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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