you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
