Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
