do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
